The Big Things
by oreocheesecakes
Summary: "Actually, staying up all night has given me some time to think. And I've realized some big things, Katara . . . I see everything so clearly now. What really matters. Why I'm really doing this." Aang did quite a lot of thinking that night. Inspired by lyrics from "Angel With A Shotgun" by The Cab.


**A/N: It feels like a perfect night to publish a fanfic! :D**

**Please excuse the Taylor Swift reference. Anyway, hope you like this story :)**

**I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or the song "Angel with a Shotgun" by The Cab.**

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_"They say before you start a war, you'd better know what you're fighting for."  
-"Angel With A Shotgun" by The Cab_

Aang paced around. There were only two days left before the invasion. Two days before they would finally have a shot at ending the century-long war. Two days before everyone would be risking their lives. Two days before everyone would know that the Avatar was alive. Two days before he would face the Fire Lord.

Two. _Freaking_. Days.

And they expected him to sleep. How could he? He didn't know a thing about firebending besides the crash course he had with Jeong Jeong. He was pretty much okay with the other elements, but definitely far from being a master.

He needed more training. He needed more practice.

In short, he wasn't ready.

Given that, how was he going to relax? He was about to face the "baddest man on the planet", as Sokka had put it. He was about to face someone merciless, evil, and extremely powerful.

But he needed to calm down. For his sake. For the world's sake. For Katara's sake.

Desperate, he did what he always did when he was confused. He meditated.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There, that felt . . . bet . . . be . . .b . . .

He eyes flew wide open in panic. No, meditating would turn into sleep, which would turn into nightmares. Closing his eyes was undeniably out of the question.

Maybe he'd just meditate with his eyes open . . . no, that would be stupid. He lay down on the grass. Maybe he'd just reflect about stuff. That was some other thing the monks did. Yes, that would help.

He thought about the invasion. The invasion was because of a war. The century-long war. The war that he, as the Avatar, should have prevented.

It was all his fault.

He started to get fidgety again so he took a deep, calming breath. No, guilt tripping wouldn't help. Besides, as he had been told, he would probably have died if he hadn't run away . . .

This wasn't helping. He tried to start a bit differently.

Why did he have to fight the Fire Lord two days from now? To end the war. Why did he have to end the war? For obvious reasons. Duh.

Just to keep himself awake, he asked himself exactly what those "obvious reasons" were. Almost bored, he told himself that it was because as the Avatar, that it was his duty to restore peace and balance to the world, that it was the right thing to do, that it was to save lives. That kind of noble Avatar stuff.

Jaded, he rolled over and found himself looking at his friends' sleeping figures.

They looked so peaceful, so innocent. It was hard to believe they could hurt a fly; it was hard to believe that Sokka was a warrior, that Katara was a master waterbender and that Toph was the self-proclaimed "greatest earthbender in the world." No one would have guessed that putting their lives on the line was as normal to these kids as breathing.

Yes, kids. They were a bunch of kids. The eldest was Sokka, and even he was only fifteen years old. For crying out loud, he and Toph weren't even teenagers yet! Now that he thought about it, why in the world would the Fire Lord, who had a lunatic, lightning-generating princess and a whole army at his disposal, be the least intimidated by their ragtag team?

Well, there _was _the solar eclipse to worry about. No firebending and all. But still.

People would tell him that it was because he was the Avatar, the only one in the world who had the power to defeat Ozai. But as he said at the North Pole, he was _just one kid. _He was just Aang, the goofy, prankster airbender from the Southern Air Temple who had just happened to earn his tattoos at an earlier age than most.

He knew that everybody was expecting him to be all glowing and powerful on the day of the invasion, but he hadn't told them the truth yet: Azula's lightning hadn't only killed him, but it had locked the Avatar State as well. He'd just have to tell them sometime . . . soon. He'd have to tell them so that they would know exactly what they were risking their lives for.

What _were_ they risking their lives for?

The answer hit him hard. Him. Their lives were constantly in danger because of him. Before he could end up guilt-tripping again, he told himself that they were doing it to save the world, and because they were his friends; friends who cared about him, friends would stick by his side no matter what.

A warm feeling came over him and brought a smile to his face. They deserved a peaceful world.

But they weren't the only ones. Hakoda deserved a peaceful world, as well as Teo and Haru and their fathers. Chief Arnook deserved a peaceful world, especially after what happened to his daughter.

His fingers clutched the grass tightly. People had died for him . . . Yue and Jet were just two of those. Who knew how many more lives were lost while he was frozen in the iceberg?

The devastating guilt started to overcome him again. No, no, deep breath. Deep breath. He exhaled, and told himself that those people had died believing in him. They wanted him to end the war.

And he would do it. For them.

Wait a minute, maybe _that _was why he wanted to face the Fire Lord. Yes, he was the Avatar, but he sort of had a tendency to run away from those duties every now and then.

To be honest, he cared more about people than the world itself. But since people made up the world, then that meant he cared about the world, too. Sort of, he guessed.

So he was doing this to save the world, which was his duty as the Avatar. But more than that, he was doing it for the people he loved.

Love . . . almost instinctively, Katara's came to mind. A blush crept on his face as he realized this and shifted a little to steal a glance at her.

As stalker-like as it was, he liked watching her sleep; the worry lines that usually creased her forehead temporarily disappeared when she was unconscious. The only he thing he didn't like about her sleeping was her pretty blue eyes getting covered by her eyelids.

_I wonder what she dreams about, _he thought curiously. He tried to ignore the small part of him that hoped she dreamt about him, about them, together. He sure dreamt about _that._

Once again, his cheeks heated up in embarrassment, and he was thankful they were all asleep. He sighed as he thought about—for the nth time—how hopelessly in love he was.

He had never been in love before, actually; he was a monk from an all-male Air Temple. Love was described to him as something warm, something uniting. The kind of love they talked about in the temple was the kind that connected a family. No one ever told him about the kind of love that made you grin like a fool, the kind of love that made you stammer and blush, the kind of love that made someone perfect in your eyes.

He tried to imagine Katara's reaction if she could read his thoughts right now. Would she go ballistic? Would she give him the cold shoulder? Would she be creeped out? Or would she return his feelings? The war was about to start, and he was sure she had no idea about how he felt about her. He honestly didn't have much of an idea about her feelings either.

Sure, they had "kissed" in the Cave of Two Lovers. Their lips had barely touched, but what mattered was that they _did. _He didn't know what she thought of that "kiss", though. Maybe it had just been a desperate move on her part, just so that they could get out of that cave. They hadn't really talked about it, actually.

Katara occasionally kissed him on the cheek, and it made him blush like crazy. Every time, he heard his heart pounding loudly in his chest, and he didn't have to look to know that Toph was either smirking or rolling her eyes somewhere behind them.

So far, the closest thing they had that could pass for a romantic moment was the dance back in the cave. He didn't know why, but somehow, as Kuzon, he had become confident enough to ask Katara to dance without becoming tongue-tied. He had been confident enough to say those cliché things he only said to her in his dreams. His eyes never moved from hers, and it was the same with her. For a few shining moments, it was like everything had fallen in place.

He had started to hope, of course. But nothing more had happened after that (aside from him earning another kiss on the cheek).

He was confused. It wasn't as if he could ask her about it, and she didn't seem to be too excited to talk about it either.

He couldn't exactly tell her how he felt, either. Well, he _had _tried, but somehow, it always ended up with him getting interrupted or Katara getting distracted.

He let out another sigh. If they were destined to be together, they would end up together. At least, that was what he wanted to believe.

But Aunt Wu had told him that if he could shape his destiny into what he wanted it to be. So, if you could shape it, then why was destiny referred to as something unstoppable?

He groaned. Talk about a mental dead end. He decided to backpedal, which wasn't difficult; his thoughts easily drifted back to Katara.

She was the only one who had this effect on him. Being around her made him happy, and he had this instinct to make sure her smile never left her face. She had the prettiest blue eyes and the meanest water whip he had ever seen. Just like the ocean, she was gentle and calm when undisturbed but could easily turn into a dangerous tsunami otherwise. She was kind and caring, but fiercely protective of the people she loved. She was a powerful and brave yet compassionate and gentle. She was the one who taught him how to catch a penguin, how to waterbend, and involuntarily, what love was. She was the one who taught him how to hope when everything seemed hopeless. She was the one who taught him that one kid could make a difference in the world. She was the one who believed in him even when no one else did.

She was Katara.

His best friend, whom he cared about much more than as a best friend. He hadn't been rejected . . . yet. He knew she cared about him, he knew she loved him . . . but in what way, he didn't know.

Maybe he'd find out soon. Maybe he should tell her how he felt tomorrow.

No, wait that was a bad idea. He'd risk losing his friendship, right before the invasion?

But then again, this was the moment he had been preparing for, the moment of truth. They were going to war. Could he live with himself knowing that he never told Katara how he felt?

He wasn't quite sure.

He _was _sure of a few things, though: he was going to fight the Fire Lord to save the world, but more than that. He was doing it for the people he loved. He was doing it for Katara. He loved her.

He exhaled in relief. The clarity that came upon realizing these big things was almost overwhelming.

As if on cue, the sun started to peek out and the stars slowly disappeared. Oh well, at least the whole "reflecting" thing had kept him awake all night, thus keeping the nightmares at bay.

Wait a minute, all night? Which meant that the invasion was _tomorrow_?!

He started to panic again.

His friends started to stir. Seeing them didn't exactly calm him down, but it took away the panic. The people in front of him were just a few of the people counting on him. He was _not_ going to let them down; nothing could stop him from protecting them.

He was going to do nothing but train later. He was going to practice til the very last ounce of strength he had; exhaustion be damned. The world was more important. His friends were more important. Katara was more important.

A corner of his mouth twitched. Big things indeed.

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**Was Aang in character enough? Was the flow of thought all right?**

**Reviews are very much welcome! :D **


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